Original air date: April 23, 2009
Writer: Daniel J. Goor | Director: Jeffrey Blitz
Summary: LESLIE HAS TROUBLE WITH A REPORTER—When Leslie (Amy Poehler) invites a reporter to do a story on her park project, she and her committee have trouble staying on message. Leslie calls in Mark (Paul Schneider) to help save the story, but he only makes the situation worse. Meanwhile, Tom (Aziz Ansari) kisses up to his boss (Nick Offerman). Rashida Jones and Aubrey Plaza also star.
Poll:
In a poll conducted on Knope Knows from April 23-26, viewers gave “The Reporter” an 8.36/10.
Ratings:
5.235 million viewers | 2.3/7 A18-49 | Source
Videos:
Promos
Other:
Photos
Quotes
Leslie: For awhile it was a teenage nature hike. But then we changed it because a girl got pregnant.
Leslie: Why did you let me eat that?
Leslie: She writes for the Pawnee Journal. Which is kind of like our town’s Washington Post.
Leslie: The press is a weapon. And you can use it to kill people or to feed people.
Leslie: We had removed five cartoon penises, not even 10 percent, when we were shut down due to lack of funding. To this day I am haunted by those remaining penises. One penis in particular.
Leslie: Hey, Mark?
Mark: Yeah?
Leslie (seductively): Buy you a cup of coffee?
*Mark looks at coffee cup in hand*
Leslie: Oh, no. I don’t count that. That was a smear job.
Leslie: I am always amazed at his… quiet… dignity, right before he’s killed by a cannonball.
Leslie: Tom Haverford. Boy genius. Smooth like milk chocolate.
Tom: That’s a weird way to describe me.
Andy: Oh, like you’re perfect. You’re on the pill, you drink all the time.
Leslie: Stay on message–
Ann: –Thank you, so much, for bringing that up in front of a reporter.
Leslie: The press are like sharks. And you guys just dumped a bucket of chum in the water.
Mark: Hey. I just got your 15 texts.
Tom: April, let me ask you something. Do you think I’m in the top five best-looking Indian guys in Pawnee?
April: No.
Tom: Who do you think’s got me beat? That guy Hashish in city planning?
Ron: Let me tell you something, Tom. You suck at Scrabble.
Tom: I know. You destroy me.
Ron: You’re worse than my ex-wife, and she’s terrible at Scrabble. And she’s a bitch.
Leslie: I don’t mean to complain, but I think Shauna is being a little unprofessional. She got here 15 minutes late, she’s wearing the same dress she wore yesterday and she had to get a ride from–
Tom: Zonal? You dropped a Z in there?
Leslie: I was doing an interview at the pit and it was going really well. In fact, it was going perfect. But I decided to leave in the middle of it because I figured I had nailed it. So why push it, right?
Leslie: There was one annoying thing. She and Mark had sex with each other.
Leslie: I accidentally ate an old burrito.
Shauna: I’m assuming not Mexican?
Leslie: Why?
Shauna: Because of the burrito?
Leslie: Oh, it wasn’t a Mexican burrito.
Shauna: You should write an article about the Pope getting married because that’s more likely to happen than this park.
Leslie: There are some countries where the Pope could be married.
Mark: Do you have to say it’s off the record?
Ann: Oh, god.
Mark: You know. I wouldn’t say romantically involved. Going forward.
Tom: Ron SWAN-son!
Ron: Tom.
Tom: I don’t even know what lexicons are. I thought that was a luxury automobile.
Ron: I knew that couldn’t have been you. You don’t have the vocabulary.
Ron: You can’t even spell vocabulary.
Tom: Uh yeah. Oh. V-O-G-X. Ahhhh! Was that right? No.
Ron: I like Tom. He doesn’t do a lot of work around here. He shows zero initiative, he’s not a team player, he’s never one to go that extra mile. Tom is exactly what I’m looking for in a government employee.
Tom: Whoa. You nailed Malway-Tweep? Nice.
Tom: Man, that dude has stuck it in some craazzyy chicks.
Poll
In a poll conducted on Knope Knows from April 23 to April 26, viewers gave “The Reporter” an 8.36/10.
