Original air date: May 20, 2010
Writer: Daniel J. Goor | Director: Jason Woliner
Summary: PAWNEE SHUTS DOWN — ADAM SCOTT (”PARTY DOWN”) AND ROB LOWE (”BROTHERS AND SISTERS”) GUEST STAR–When Ben (guest star Adam Scott) prevents Leslie (Amy Poehler) from holding a children’s concert, she takes matters into her own hands. Mark (Paul Schneider) makes some big decisions about his life, and Andy (Chris Pratt) gets some unexpected romantic attention. Rashida Jones, Aziz Ansari, Nick Offerman, and Aubrey Plaza also star.
Poll:
In a poll conducted on Knope Knows from May 20-23, viewers gave “Freddy Spaghetti” a 9.33/10.
Video:
Promos | Highlights
Other:
Photos
Knope Knows Q&A:
Dan Goor
Quotes:
Andy: How long is it going to last?
Ron: If we’re lucky this building will be empty for months.
Andy: Got a really good deal on my lease. Paying like 12 percent interest. That’s like one of the highest you can get.
Leslie: No one is more upset about this than I am. Not like it’s a competition or anything. ‘Cause if it was, I would win, but that’s neither here nor there. The point is I would win.
Resident: With the government shut down, who’s going to stop Al Qaeda?
Resident #2: School is out in two weeks. What am I going to do with my kids all day? Keep them in my house? Where I live?
Leslie: I’m very glad that you agree with me, but I actually worked really hard on my argument. Is there any way I can still, kind of, yeah?
Leslie: You’re wrong. Are you crazy? Can you put a price tag on a child’s smile?
Ben: The government has been shut down for two days, and one city employee has tried to schedule 14 meetings with me. Can you guess who?
Chris: I have run 10 miles a day, every day, for 18 years. That’s 65 thousand miles. A third of the way to the moon. My goal is to run to the moon.
Ben: Idaho cut their parks department by 80 percent. And Idaho is basically one giant park.
Leslie: That is not your call.
Ben: I know, it’s on your badge.
Chris: Ann Perkins!
Ann: Chris… something.
Chris: I have a resting heart rate of 23 beats per minute. The scientists who study me say my heart can pump jet fuel up into an airplane.
Chris: I think you might find me attractive because you got drunk and kissed me when we first met.
Ann: Traditionally, when I end a long-term relationship, I’m a little fragile, and I have a tendency to do some reckless things. So I need to stay away from Chris.
Mark: You know, not everyone has your enthusiasm for this work.
Leslie: You know, I guess I’ve been mispronouncing your name all these years, Mark Brendana-quits.
Mark: Recently I have been thinking about maybe leaving this job, but I felt like I needed a sign. And then Ann broke up with me the week I was going to propose, the government got shut down and yesterday one of those pigeons took an [expletive] on me. And I was indoors, so…
Leslie: Is this a bad time?
Tom: Lucy’s here, I’m in my sexy pajamas. I just took four Benadryls to dull my sensitivity. Yes.
Leslie: You’re about to have sex.
Tom: Why else would Boyz II Men’s “On Bended Knee” be playing right now.
Leslie: Don’t make it last very long. Ladies don’t like that.
Leslie: Less man time, more Ann time.
Leslie: The only guy that I care about right now is six feet tall with wild crazy hair and a ukulele that doubles as a water gun. Freddy Spaghetti.
Leslie: Pawnee’s kids are less important than poop tubes.
Ann: Do you think anybody’s going to show up?
Leslie: A) Yes. B) Even if they don’t, we’ll just put the concert on ourselves. But C) Yes, yes. They’re definitely going to show up. Although D) Maybe not.
Leslie: April’s here. Move, Jerry.
Ben: We need to cut expenditures by 32 percent.
Ron: Let’s make it an even 40.
Ron: I’m an official member of a task force dedicated to slashing the city budget. Just saying that gave me a semi.
Ron: Right off the bat, we sell city hall. Let somebody turn it into a large gas station or a TJ Maxx.
Leslie: Can you go pick up Freddy Spaghetti in your Mercedes? We need to give him the star treatment.
Tom: Sorry we’re late. I had to wait on my girlfriend to finish eating breakfast.
Tom: We had dinner last night and breakfast this morning. What were we doing in between? Sex stuff.
Lucy: You guys know Tom really well so I don’t have to apologize for his behavior, right?
Chris: I know what’ll loosen up our brains. Massage train. And, I know what you’re thinking. It’s not that I want a massage; I’ll be the caboose. And Ron Swanson is the locomotive.
Ron: Sell the zoo animals.
Ben: OK, to whom?
Ron: Cosmetics labs, weird restaurants. I’m just spitballin’ here.
Andy: Reverse psychiatry.
Ben: Every department’s losing a Leslie Knope.
Ron: No, Ben. They are not. No other department has one to begin with. Right now, she’s single-handedly putting up some lousy concert for this city’s kids.
Leslie: I wish we would have built one of those elevators that comes up from under the stage, you know?
Ron: I accidentally told them what you’re doing in an attempt to save some government jobs. It’s been a very strange day for me.
Leslie: Freddy Spaghetti may not sing. But, something much cooler is going to happen. I think.
Donna: When we canceled on him, he took another gig in Eagleton. At a library.
Tom: That’s literally the worst place I could imagine.
Ann: You have two broken bones in your right arm, and four in your hand.
Andy: That’s the side that hurts.
Andy: Is there any chance you could fix me in the next 10 minutes.
Dr. Harris: Sure. I’ll just advance medical science 30 years.
Andy: Great.
Leslie: Can Mouse Rat play without you?
Andy: They tried once. They’re called Rat Mouse and they’re awful.
Andy: There’s an old saying in show business: The show must go wrong. Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.
Leslie: Hello, Pawnee. I’m Rinatta Ricotta. Freddy Spaghetti couldn’t make it today. He bumped his noodle. There was sauce everywhere. It was just streaming out of his face. It was really scary.
Tom: Ron Corleone. This really attractive woman is my girlfriend, Lucy.
Ron: Hello, Lucy.
Lucy: Hi.
Ron: Whoa. Impressive handshake.
Lucy: Thanks. My father told me that a limp handshake was for weak men and communists. He hated both.
Ron: Well done, Tommy.
Tom: Is that bacon on your turkey leg?
Ron: They call it a Swanson.
April: That was nice.
Andy: Here’s just one thing real quick. I want to be totally honest with you because I like you so much, but like two minutes ago me and Ann did kiss.
Andy: Dude, don’t even think about kissing me.
Leslie: And what was your favorite song, Chelsea?
Chelsea: “Penne and the Jets.”
Lucy: Is this an autographed picture of Jamie Foxx?
Tom: Oh, there it is. Thank god.
Tom: Whenever Ron has sex, the next morning he comes in dressed like Tiger Woods. … Oh god.
Lucy: What? Who is that?
Tom: That is my ex-wife.
